


Survival?

by Lionessinthedark



Series: Sherlock's and John's challenges [14]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, Johnlock-Freeform, M/M, Post-His Last Vow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-08
Updated: 2015-07-08
Packaged: 2018-04-08 09:31:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4299633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lionessinthedark/pseuds/Lionessinthedark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>NB! NB!</p><p> </p><p>  <b>I've just discovered that I had not put this part as a part of the series. This is what happened between 'At Sherrinford's estate' and 'Mycroft's secrets'. It tells how John and Sherlock survived.<b></b></b></p><p> </p><p>  <b><br/>    <b>But Sherlock is caught in his own mind......will he ever wake up? Irene reveals a secret...and Mycroft has one too...</b><br/>  </b></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter one

Mycroft looked at the man in the bed. He had a feeling of a déjà vu. It was not the first time he had seen Sherlock lying in a hospital bed, not knowing if Sherlock would make it or not, but he hoped, no he actually begged the gods, in which he didn’t believe, that it would be the last time.  
Mycroft hoped that the recourses of this very exclusive and rather costly private clinic would be enough to save Sherlock. Their parents had visited and had understood why Sherlock had to “die” when he left for Berlin in the first place and to fulfill his task in the second place. Sherlock had written a letter to them prior, leaving out Mycroft’s role in the whole affair. They had both cried as they saw Sherlock lying in that bed.

“Take care of him and John” they had said as they left. They had aged because of Sherlock’s “death”. Another reason for Mycroft to feel extremely guilty. He hadn’t told them that Sherlock had killed Sherrinford. Sherlock could tell if he ever got the opportunity.

He turned around...away from the sounds of the respirator, the ventilator and all the other equipments that kept his brother on the right side of the grave and went into the next room. The man in that bed had a healthier skin colour and was breathing on his own. He was attached to a lot of machinery that monitored his life signs too. He would recover...at least his body...but what about his mind, if Sherlock died? Mycroft sighed.....he needed John too. But would John need him?  
______________________  
The next day Sherlock’s condition hadn’t changed but John was awake. Mycroft entered the room:  
“Hello John!”

“Hm...Mycroft......” and John didn’t say more, just turned his head away.

“I’ve made arrangements so everything is returned to Sherlock again. I inherited everything as he “died” in Berlin. All the falsifying of your data.....well....you’ll have to do it yourself. It is not something I can do!”

John turned his head against Mycroft: “Do not bother yet. I don’t want anything. If....and notice I say “if”... Sherlock dies.... I’m going to kill myself. And please Mycroft...don’t offend me by asking me to hand over my SIG. You know just as well as I do, that I do not need a SIG to kill myself! Just leave me Mycroft. I don’t want to see you ever again. If you have had just a fraction of the guts Sherlock has, we wouldn’t have been here in a hospital bed again and Sherlock would not be fighting for his life for the umpteenth time!”..And he turned his head away again.

Mycroft answered very silently: “I have done everything...believe me.....everything possible to restrict Sherrinford’s influence. Even risking my career and to some extent my life too. You are right. I’m not a dragon-slayer or a hero like my little brother. I do not have his guts, his bravery and his ruthlessness. That is him...not me!”

John turned against him in anger...his eyes almost black. Mycroft could see the soldier, the captain, the trained killer but he was brave enough not to step backwards. 

John shouted: “Ruthlessness?!!!!!! How dare you say that!!!Sherlock is not the person who sits and wanks to films of you being tortured!!!!Wanking while you hear his and mine flesh being torn open by whips. Wanking to the screams of me having my hands pierced by nails and hearing you brother’s gasps of pain.......not pleasure. You are sick, Mycroft, wanking while you imagine that you are whipping us. That you are our torturer. This is pure wicked and twisted sadism!!! Just leave me alone!!!!” 

Mycroft’s voice: “I’ll leave. But you misunderstand.....I’m neither the flogger nor the whipper. In my mind I’m the one who gets punished!”

And he turned around and was going to leave the room as John said: “Hmmm you caught me on the wrong foot there. Sherlock had mentioned your dark sides and your wanking habits and I assumed....well apparently I assumed wrong. My apology offered.....I’m sorry....Don’t leave....I.......”

Mycroft came back to John’s bed: “Seeing the films you and Sherlock made in Berlin in order to get Sherrinford interested...well....masochism apparently runs in the Holmes family and you seem to like it too. Actually a shame...”

John: “Why a shame?”

Mycroft: “About that later.....do you want your bed in the same room as Sherlock’s when you can do without all that life support hardware?”

John: “What a silly question is that, Mycroft?!”  
_________________________ 

The next day John’s bed was moved into Sherlock’s room. The doctors agreed that Sherlock in his unconscious state could benefit of the presence of John...his voice....his touch. John wasn’t fit enough just to sit in a chair, and there was not room enough in Sherlock’s bed, but the two beds were put so close together that John could hold Sherlock’s hand. And John talked...and talked. 

He could see a difference on the monitors: the heart beat, the pulse and on the EEG as well when he spoke. He remembered how it had made a difference the last time...and the time before that. That was why he continued even if his throat became sore and his voice hoarse. He talked about their cases, how he felt and sometimes he would just read stories from books Mycroft provided. Books Mycroft knew that Sherlock had enjoyed and sometimes books Mycroft thought that John might enjoy too.


	2. Chapter 2

The 4th day after John woke up, Irene Adler turned up at the clinic. She cried a bit when she hugged John and took Sherlock’s passive hand and that was the awkward moment when Mycroft decided to turn up.

“Miss Adler” Mycroft said in a voice that could trick start a new ice age and she answered “Mr Holmes” in a similar cold tone.

John felt it necessary to interfere: “Stop, both of you. You do not have information enough about each other right now so just shut up both of you and listen! You Mycroft...you do not know how much Irene has done to help us in Berlin so we could get to Sherrinford. How much she has done for Sherlock....even risking her own life to help us! Yes she was a nuisance before as she worked for Moriarty. But believe me...she has realized her mistake and have done everything to make atonement for her doings.”

“And you Irene” John continued “You do not know what Mycroft has done to make up for his being in Sherrinford’s claws. What he has done to save Sherlock and me. So both of you stop right know. This glacier climate is not doing Sherlock anything good or helping him or me in any way!”

Mycroft looked at John and sighed: “You are right. At least I can behave politely. And of course I can understand that you, Miss Adler are worried about Sherlock as so are we.”

“That is not the only reason why I turned up, Mr Holmes”

And Irene took Sherlock’s hand, and caressed it: “Forgive me John, but I’m pregnant with Sherlock’s child! We had sex and I usually obviously don’t have to use protection against pregnancy”

Silence....only the sounds from the machinery.

John asked: “When?”

“When we had our last dinner together.....two days before you left for Croatia. You got drunk and fell asleep on the sofa. And.....well. It wasn’t intended and we didn’t mean to cheat on you John. But you were both facing death and I might never see Sherlock again so....”

John had listened to her and he went over and took her hand: “You do not need to excuse anything. We both love him....I’m just the fortunate one that is living with him. I’m not the one who should talk about cheating....I was married to another woman and abandoned him......I understand....And...and if the worst thing should happen, there would still be a small part of him alive!”

Irene kissed him: “Thank you” and she looked at Sherlock.

Then she turned towards both men: “It wasn’t intended.....but now I’m going to keep it. At least there will be a part of this wonderful man alive if he doesn’t make it as John said. It’s strange. Do you remember my words John? You were not gay and I was and yet we both love this strange and wonderful man. There should maybe be another word for it: “Sherlock-sexual”? I’ll never fight against you, John, for Sherlock’s love. What you two have is unique and if Sherlock and I would ever attempt to live together, we would kill each other within the first two months.  
I do not possess the angel’s patience you have John and for which I admire you. I love Sherlock.....but we can never live together. It worked for a while in Berlin because he was on a case and focused. And for you Mycroft Holmes: what I’m going to say now is not blackmail just how it is going to be. I have known for two months that I was pregnant and I have used the time to think. I’ll raise the child....and in Berlin. My life is there...it’s where I have my friends and it’s where I have my career. And no, Mycroft Holmes it is not a career of blackmailing. I’ll make sure that the child would be given the best education. But I’ll not deprive the Holmes family of their heir. He or she can visit you as often as you wish as long as education is secured. Of course I’ll make sure that English would be a native tongue as well as German for this child. When the child grows older further arrangements can be made. Is that acceptable?”

Mycroft looked at Irene and nodded: “I’m very surprised. I have to admit that you indeed are very different from the woman I’ve met earlier. People can change or I....and I would hate to admit that...have got you wrong. Maybe my brother was better at seeing your qualities. I can only thank you and agree. But I’ll insist on economical help from my side and hopefully from Sherlock’s. We haven’t given up hope yet, that he’ll come to his senses. Would that help be acceptable? And would you accept some surveillance too? If former enemies would learn about this child’s father, they could use it as a threat against him or her and against us?”

Irene looked at Mycroft and reached out her hand: “Accepted....please.....peace?”

Mycroft took her hand: “Peace...Irene!”

She bowed her head: “Mycroft!”

Irene kissed Sherlock’s forehead and whispered: “Don’t you dare to die, Sherlock Holmes, you are going to be a father!”

She turned against John: “What are the prognoses?”

“Well. Right now he is physically as healthy as he can get, when he didn’t get quite enough antidote. He made sure that I got enough, but there wasn’t enough for him. And he deluded me there. The poison works on two levels. Level one is that your body have difficulties by getting enough nutrition out of your food. Without occasionally IV you might starve to death even if you eat. It’s on a mitochondrial level within the single cell. He is such a fool, Irene. I would have been able to cope with that so much better than him! The second level is that the cell membrane-valves can’t let oxygen in and co2 out, and it destroy the blood vessels too, causing internal and external bleeding and making it difficult for the blood to coagulate. Sherlock is not facing those problems just the long-term ones with the nutrition. Those persons we killed got to level two rather fast because they didn’t get any antidote whatsoever. Well I think that malnutrition would be the biggest threat if he ever wakes up. There shouldn’t be any reason why he can’t regain consciousness. But he is somehow trapped in his own mind” 

Irene turned away: “You are going to tell me if there are any changes?”

Both men nodded and said: “Of course!”


	3. Chapter 3

Graduately the different machinery was removed and finally Sherlock seemed to be just asleep. IV was still necessary and the EEG but that was it. Sometimes John would crawl in to Sherlock’s bed and embrace the man. But Sherlock did not open his eyes even if he now moved in his sleep. The therapy was no longer necessary...no imminent danger of pressure sores anymore but they kept the water mattress. Sherlock was still trapped in his own mind.

Mycroft went by rather often and John asked him how he found time to do that. John knew that there were huge problems internationally, as Sherrinford’s organisation collapsed. But Mycroft told him that there were so little Mycroft aka the English government could do right now and that he of course would take time to visit his brother and his friend considering what they had done.

“You have not been tempted to take charge of Sherrinford’s organization?” John asked.

“Tempted ....oh yes. But so much power corrupts.....”

“Says the British Government aka Mycroft Holmes?”

“Oh John....I have immense power...but I alone am not the British Government and besides, Sherlock made it very clear in his letter to me, that I could not and should not inherit that organization!”

John said very quiet: “He is not here to stop you......not in mind. So why do you obey him? It has always been the other way round!”

Mycroft looked at John: “Do not make the same mistake that Sherlock sometimes has made. I might sometimes be smarter....better at understanding people. Better at putting things together, organizing. But Sherlock can...if he decides to give it a try..... do something that I’m not capable of doing. He can, based on very few facts, in a glimpse see the whole structure. How can I explain? It is as if he sees two apples, a few leaves and a twig and that’s all people, you and sometimes I, see. But Sherlock sees the whole apple tree. He just knew that it would be a bigger disaster if someone just inherited Sherrinford’s organisation instead of letting it crumble, as he meticulously explained in his letter.”

“But you’ve always teased him with “I’m the smarter one”?”

“Our bickering doesn’t not run that deep, John. It’s just a very bad habit. Sherlock knows that I care deeply about him and of course I do not expect him to obey me every time. And our Christmases has always been horrible, not because we cannot stand to be in the same room together, but because Christmas is “half a year of Sunday afternoons in rain”-boredom. The only fun is to bicker at each other...”

“Maybe you should have learned to play chess, bridge or poker?!”

Mycroft smiled: “We have played chess....but I used to win most of the time. Another reason to bicker!”  
________________________

10 days after as Mycroft visited again, he asked John: “I do not know how to say this without being cruel, but....what are you going to do if Sherlock’s state stays the same for a long time? Being in that limbo, not dead but not alive either? He can’t live like that in Baker Street and even if he should be a bit better and just need a wheelchair, Baker Street is still not the place.”

John looked at Mycroft with his eyes half closed: “And?” Mycroft could see the soldier again but never the less continued:

“Move in to my house, either in London if you want to have a new job as a doctor or my house outside London. I’ll provide the best care for my brother. I’ve not giving up hope yet, but staying here in the clinic doesn’t make any difference now. His body is stable enough...like yours, John. You’ll need some spare time. Get some fresh air. You are not doing him or yourself any good by sitting by his bed 18 hours a day. The Doctors have told me that your health is deteriorating a bit. Don’t do that to yourself or to my brother...wearing yourself down. Please John. I know that I’m not so exciting as my brother.....but I care about you. Just as much as I care about Sherlock. If only you would allow me. I know that there have been misunderstandings between us, but I hope that they have been clarified by now. Sherlock is not the only Holmes brother who would need you!”

John looked at him: “Is it “about that later” now?”

Mycroft looked at him: “No...not right now. It’s neither the place nor the time for confessions. I want to be in......hmmm....more private surroundings.”

John laughed: “Oh I see...just your own cameras then.”

Mycroft just smiled.  
________________________  
It was the house in London that John chose. They had been given their own rooms and even some of the furniture from Baker Street. (As Sherlock had bought the house a few years ago from Mrs. Hudson, it was actually now Mycroft’s until all their preparations and falsifications were rolled backwards totally again) Not that John wouldn’t have liked the green grass and the fresh air. But he found out that he appreciated Mycroft’s company. His dry humour and his deductions, his sarcastic comments of the news in the papers and their discussions about literature and music. When Mycroft lowered his shields and showed the real man behind his 3-piece suit and the umbrella, John could see Sherlock’s and Mycroft’s resemblance. 

One afternoon after John had been reading for Sherlock for about one hour (it was Rutherfurts “London”) John entered the living room next to Sherlock’s room, just to find Mycroft there. Rather relaxed as he was in a pair of trousers, a shirt and a dressing gown and slippers....very relaxed for Mycroft! Mycroft rose as John entered the room: “I’ve heard that he is better.....not only gamma but theta waves too. He might wake up soon....”

John looked at Mycroft: “But....”

Mycroft sighed: “Yes I know.....we don’t know yet. It is just as if he can’t wake up. Just as if he is trapped in that trance. The wake up word worked at you so why not at Sherlock?

John looked at Mycroft...his eyes wide open: “Mycroft....how did you know how to wake us up?!”

“Sherlock wrote it in his letter...the letter he had left for me in Baker Street and that it took me about a month to decipher! It was just like the god dammed German enigma machine from WW2! I said the words to you and Sherlock but only you awoke!”

John rose to his feet, kissed Mycroft and ran into Sherlock’s room where he hurried to Sherlock’s bed, bend down and whispered in Sherlock’s ear: “John Watson is alive......Masutā chūmon anata ni.... Mewosamasu (“Master order you: wake up” in Japanese) and Sherlock blinked and murmured: “John? Ow...I’m sore. Did we make it?”

“Yeah”

“I’m weak. For how long have I slept?”

“More than a month!”

“Why did the wake up words not function?”

“Because Mycroft’s voice is close enough to yours to make me wake up. He tried to wake you up too....even using the Japanese words...but no one...including me...thought of that my voice was necessary too!”

Sherlock smiled: “Well. I’ve just put a little bit too much security into those words!”

Sherlock looked at Mycroft as he came in: “You have lost weight...suits you!”

Mycroft: “You have too, dear brother. Doesn’t suit you! And forgive me for not figuring out that John’s voice was vital too!”

Sherlock closed his eyes: “God I’m tired...and I love you too, My!”

And he fell asleep holding John’s hand.

John and Mycroft just looked at each other and smiled...

After that Sherlock’s recovery soon became faster. He was still weak though and had to use a wheelchair sometimes and later a cane. He had not got quite enough antidote and the long term consequences were still to be seen. Irene was called to London and Sherlock was somehow still amazed that John could forgive him that he had made Irene pregnant.


	4. Chapter 4

One afternoon as they were still living in Mycroft’s house John and Sherlock was asked to visit Mycroft in the library. As John turned up Mycroft had arranged for tea and biscuits and something stronger as well: cognac. And Sherlock turned up a bit later pushed by one of the caretakers in his wheelchair. He was still rather weak. The caretaker left.

“Please sit down, well...er....”

John just looked at Mycroft as he sat down: “Is it “later” now?”

“Yes. But before that I’ll have to tell you both that today I have handed in my resignation....again!

“Are you telling me that you have.....?!......and “again”?! What do you mean by that?!”, said Sherlock.

“I handed a resignation in as I found out that someone had worked behind my back, had given you, Sherlock order to end Magnussen at any cost. You had to improvise and had been given authorization to kill as an agent if necessary....

“Are you telling me that that “007-licence to kill” is something true?!” interrupted John rather surprised.

“Well not actually.....not the double-zero-part...but the rest. But “someone” “forgot” to inform me.....thus making me believe that Sherlock actually risked getting shot at Magnussen’s house and making me believe that I was to send my own little brother to his certain death in Croatia! I told certain people that I couldn’t perform my tasks in such an atmosphere of distrust and I handed in my resignation. It wasn’t accepted though and that certain “someone” was demoted. But this time I mean it. I’ve given so many years to “Queen & Country” that I feel that I’ve done my duty...

“Hm.......”certain death in Croatia”.......I just realized that Sherlock was sent to end Sherrinford!!!”, said John.

Mycroft just looked at him: “You are not as fast as I and Sherlock......but yes....in the end you make the correct deductions. Yes the mission was to end Sherrinford......but the way the task was given......it would have been nearly impossible to get to Sherrinford and out again in one piece despite Sherlock’s talents.”

“Did Sherrinford order you?!” again John asked. Sherlock didn’t ask that much...he already knew.

“Oh my god...no!! I have never given Sherrinford reason to believe anything but that Sherlock just was my puppet on a string and without any real abilities in brainwork. Sherrinford actually believed that “The world’s only consulting detective” was nothing but a scheme......my unwillingness to do legwork would had me make my little brother in to a willing actor, who just was my “mouth”.... expressing my thoughts.   
No the order came from the very top of politicians in Europe...or so I thought. That “someone”, I mentioned before, was after my throat and nearly succeeded. But this time I’ve given my resignation because I...maybe a bit too late....have realized my own mortality and “loosing” Sherlock and you, and I really believed you two to be dead this time, have made me rethink a lot of things. I’m afraid that my resignation would not be accepted this time either, but I hope it has made some specific persons contemplate......and somehow inside me I would really hope that it would be accepted. I’m prepared for both events.”

John: “I can’t imagine you willingly give away so much power, Mycroft. What about your CCTV cameras then?”

“Oh...I’m not giving up it all. I’ll be the “world’s first consulting politician” and I’ll still be in surveillance and security. But foreign politics and domestic affairs would have to do without me. And it’ll be so much easier when Sherrinford is gone, thanks to you and Sherlock. Do you know that there had been mentioned something about a knighthood, John?”

“You mean...”sirs”?!”

“Yes.......there is something about “Sir John Hamish Watson” isn’t there?”

“Actually Mycroft....I’ll rather have something like “Dr. John Hamish Watson-Holmes” if I would be able to choose” and he took Sherlock’s hand in his left hand and shoved Mycroft his right hand with the ring from Berlin: “Sherlock proposed before we went to Croatia and I said yes.”

“I’m glad to hear that my brother finally would make you an honourable man”, said Mycroft with a smile towards Sherlock.

“You do not mind then?” said John.

“On the contrary......During this last month I have seen clearer the qualities that Sherlock sees in you, John. Not that I didn’t know your intelligence before or your bravery, your integrity and your devotion against Sherlock, but...”

“Please Mycroft; I do not possess all those nice qualities. You know just as well as I how much I abandoned Sherlock as he returned from Serbia. I am only trying to pay back just a tiny fraction of what he did to save me.”

Mycroft looked at John and said: “Said by the man who got himself crucified to save my brother?”

“Said by the brother to the man who gave up his heart’s blood - his “work” - , jumped of a roof and was tortured for a month in Serbia because a mad-man had found his pressure point...me...and a man who despite of his own feelings didn’t think of anything else but my wellbeing allowing me to leave him....no “abandon” him......letting my wife nearly kill him and forgave her, because he thought it would secure my happiness. I have no words to describe the depth of the things that Sherlock has done for me” and John turned his head to Sherlock and squeezed his hand: “and I’ll never be able to pay your generosity, your love, your...everything back even if I tried the rest of my life. I love you deeply and I’m so honoured that you love me in return!” and he smiled at Sherlock.

“But you have those qualities, John”, said Mycroft: “Do not try to diminish yourself. The good influence you have had on my brother is immense. He is now a more whole person and that is because of your influence. I think that you have brought forward the best part in each other. That is why I find it very difficult to say these things to you, John and you Sherlock. Believe me. I’m not trying to ask you to cheat on each other. It just happens to be one of a very few possibilities I have left right now......and I’m growing kind of desperate...”

“Explain” said Sherlock.

“Well it is rather difficult and by telling you both this I’m actually handing over my career. If this should be known in public I would be a “dead” man in politics. It is barely acceptable that I’m gay or actually “bi/pan-”...and that’s only because I’m very discreet. But actually you would be surprised if I told you who attends the very special and exclusive .......hmm....clubs in London...”

“Mycroft...Sherlock and I have investigated crimes in some of those clubs....nothing can surprise us!”

“Well maybe I can surprise you, then. As I told you before I have tendencies towards masochism. But in a very special way and until know I haven’t found any one that totally could meet my needs. To fulfill them I have arranged a sort of role play. And it worked. But my participant is no longer available and that leaves me...hmm...unattended.... I have immense power as you mentioned before, John, and sometimes I have to make very unpleasant decisions that could have very grave consequences for some people. That leads to the fact that I sometimes have to be reminded to be a bit more humble. Just to balance things out....”

“I see...and then you want to, need to be punished?” asked John.

“Not only that. I need it to silence my brain. I’ve not done drugs like Sherlock but I found out already at the university, as I had a very short affair with a rather dominating woman, that submission quiets my brain.. and later the masochism emerged”

“You should have told Sherlock....it would have made things so much easier!” John smiled towards Sherlock who smiled back. It showed how tired he still was, that he could be that silent for such a long time.

“Well...actually....I’ve never discussed my sex life with my little brother. We are very English, you know even if it’s only Sherlock who was born here.” (read: “The factory” where The Holmes family’s background is revealed. Not canonical).

“Thus making you presume that he actually was a virgin!”

“Yeah....I did.”

Sherlock laughed: “You should have known, brother dear. You should have known!”

“Which bring me to today’s topic. I want this to be totally out in the clear light. No secrets!...”

John and Sherlock smiled at each other and said: “No elephants in the room!”

Mycroft: “well...yes....you could put it that way....I need to submit and I need the pain. Sometimes it leads to sex but of course I’ll have to keep it away for now, since I do not have a regular partner.....”

Both John and Sherlock looked at Mycroft and said: “Why?” And John continued: “We wouldn’t mind! We have discussed it...Sherlock had of course deduced what you were about to tell us this evening. You could have the exclusive experience of having two doms! Sherlock is so much better at reading people, so even if he right now only would be the observer, it would be wise to have him to watch. We have even discussed what would happen if it came to sex.....and I have to admit that after what happened in Berlin we are rather open minded as long as no one is hurt...at least not more than they want to be.”

Mycroft cleared his throat: “Are you saying that you both would be totally all right if the other part had sex....hm even penetrations......with me?”

John and Sherlock looked at each other and Sherlock said: “As John said....after Berlin and after having been so close to death we couldn’t care less about conventions. I think that I’ll even find it arousing to see John actually fuck you, Mycroft, while you were bound and gagged. We didn’t do anything....or nearly nothing.....besides having sex only him and me together. But you are my brother....you need this.....I can even sense your frustration being built up....so yes. I’m willing to share John and his abilities with you....and even if I tease you with your not so fit body, I’ve never found you unattractive!”

Mycroft: “But it is incestuous.....”

Sherlock smirked: “I can only see the problem if you or I should get pregnant....”

And the 3 men just smiled at each other: “It’s agreed upon then” said Mycroft: “Then I better tell about the limitations. Nothing above my shirt-collar. I don’t mind bruises or welts....sometimes it is....nice.....to have ...hm....reminders. But no broken ribs or stressed ligaments. I’ll have to be able to function in my job...”

John and Sherlock looked shocked at each other and john said: “Do I understand it correctly that you have experienced that?”

“Yes”

John was shocked: “Oh my god Mycroft, you have been in the hands of amateurs! Stress-positions are a part of real torture......Sherlock would know all about that!.........not a part of power play. Don’t tell me that you have written “stress-positions” down in your “manuscript”! What caused the broken ribs?”

“I had written “restrains” and the cane caused a broken rib”

Sherlock snorted: “Amateurs.....a cane can only be used with the utmost care on the buttocks, the thighs or even more carefully on the palms of the hands. Never...never...on the torso! I’m shocked that it could be allowed in those clubs. I thought they were professionals?”

Mycroft: “Well....hmm.....actually it wasn’t in the clubs. I....I....am not the easiest submissive....so....eh....it have been a bit difficult to find a suitable dom. I’ve had made a room here in this house....and in the country side house as well..”

At that statement both Sherlock and John looked at each other and smiled.

John looked at Mycroft and said sternly: “I really do hope that that person or these persons that were not proper doms, but amateurs, and dangerous ones of sort, that they cannot offer their services at other subs?”

Mycroft just said calmly: “That have been taken care of....they are excluded from all the clubs in this country and they have got a firm warning! I suppose that you would call yourself professionals?”

John looked at Sherlock and gave his tiny nod and Sherlock said: “We are....the mistakes we have made are history...so yes we are professionals and “switchers”....I can turn on a dime between being a sub and a dom, but John needs a little longer time and right now I don’t know how my body would react, so I’ll just be watching. I don’t suppose you want us to dominate you outside your room? And would you like to switch too? Can you?”

“I wouldn’t know, said Mycroft....”and maybe I’ll like the dominance to be extended to the house. It’s nice to let everything go....to be in subspace. Maybe it would be nice to be there for more than a few hours”  
______________________________  
In the night as John and Sherlock were in their bed, Sherlock spooning John from behind...the way they had got used to in Berlin, Sherlock nuzzled John behind his ear and said: “You worry about something. I observed you as we talked with Mycroft. What is on your mind?”

John turned around and looked at Sherlock....took his beloved face firm in his hands and kissed him gently on his forehead: “I just wondered how much people can change!”

“Explain, please”

“That is exactly my point. You want me to explain.....you say “please”. You are for now partly bound to that blasted wheelchair and the old Sherlock would have been tearing down the walls of pure frustration....so I just wondered. How much “old Sherlock” is there still left in there?”

“You are worried about brain damage, right?”

“Yeah...”and John had a lump in his throat and he continued: “I made a promise that if you survived, but with brain damage I would stay and take care of you...even if it meant changing your diapers and reading children’s books. If it wasn’t that bad but bad enough for you to know how bad it was....I would have killed you to spare you the embarrassment and frustration of a gone brain and....”

Sherlock kissed John in return: “Am I allowed to live now?”

John smiled and said: “Yes...because you are not in despair and I can have a conversation with you. You are not sitting drooling and without a language....so yes...I’ll let you live!”

Sherlock turned around and was lying on his back, looking up at the ceiling in the dim light: “I really do not know if there is any damage, John. I do not feel different besides not being frustrated about my idleness. I could try to play a game of chess with Mycroft, but it would really not tell anything as he usually would beat me 6 out of 10 times. Or he could present me for a “locked-room-murder” and see if I could solve it. Yes I have changed....maybe it’s because I know that you love me, maybe it’s because I’ve been close to death just one time too many”

He turned towards John again and touched John’s face: “I’m no longer married to my work....but that stopped way back as Moriarty threatened to kill you all, especially you John. When he challenged me, he actually gave me a choice: “ruin your career, admit you are a fraud, and kill yourself or you’ll watch John die.” The choice was easy and I would have chosen the same way today even if there were no net to catch me at the pavement at Barts. The event in the pool-house was the beginning....right there I knew that I would do the same thing for you, as you did for me: giving up my life to save yours!” and he hugged John concealing his face at John’s shoulder: “I really hope that I’m not so damaged, that my life is in danger, because maybe I cannot provide the same exciting life as before, when I asked you if you wanted to see more danger and blood”

John pushed Sherlock so much away that he could see his face: “Sometimes you are such an idiot, Sherlock! I’m not in love with your brain or the danger or the adrenalin rush. Nor your body or your kisses or your cock. I’m in love with all of you......and I’ll continue to be when your raven hair turns gray, your cheekbones get covered in wrinkles and you start losing your teeth. I’m in love with your sulks, your bad moods and your rants....because I’m in love with all of you...even if a part of you might be left in Croatia. I just love you and I’ll love you even if we give up being “the world’s only consulting detective and his blogger”. That was/is just a tiny part of our life and I love all of you!”

“I love you too, John” said Sherlock and kissed John’s mouth....and that’s why they, despite Sherlock’s tiredness, didn’t get any sleep before 1 hour later as one thing led to another.


End file.
